1. Contaminate the entire auto
department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
2. When there are people behind you,
walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.
3. Play with
the automatic doors.
4. While walking through the clothing
department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS
this junk, anyway?"
this junk, anyway?"
5. Ride a display bicycle through the
store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
6. Play soccer with a group of
friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
7. As the cashier runs your purchases
over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
8. Set up a tent in the camping department;
tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from
Bed and Bath.
Bed and Bath.
9. Test the fishing rods and see what
you can "catch" from the other aisles.
10. Drape a blanket around your shoulders
and run around saying,"...I'm Batman. Come, Victor, to the
Batcave!"
11.
Play with the calculators so that they
all spell "hello" upside down.Batcave!"
12. When someone asks if you need help,
begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me
alone?"
alone?"
13.
Dart around suspiciously while
humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."
14.
Try on bras over top of your
clothes.
15. When someone steps away from their cart to
look at something, quickly make off with it without saying
a word.
a word.
16.
Relax in the patio furniture until
you get kicked out.
17. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the
magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft
drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
18.
Look right into the security camera,
and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
19. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and
watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.
20.
walk up to the attendant ask him to
lead up to the casket showroom
21. While walking around alone, pretend
someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Ex:
The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you
loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as
though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.
The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you
loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as
though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.
22. Have silly string fights with a friend.
Hide behind customers and "accidentally" hit the people instead of
your friend.
your friend.
23.
Excessively use anything thing that
says "Try Me".
24.
Start pocketing any and all free
samples.
25.
Draw mustaches on all the pictures and
billboard in the mall.
26. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk
up to people asking where the rash cream is because your
family and all your friends seem to have a rash too.
family and all your friends seem to have a rash too.
27. Start "dancing" like mad.
Basically, just wail your arms and legs around like your having some kind of
massive seizure.
massive seizure.
28. When your alone, start screaming help and
yelling that someone is trying to rape you. Then when
everyone runs over, start crying and saying "All I ever wanted was a little attention" Then run away
crying.
everyone runs over, start crying and saying "All I ever wanted was a little attention" Then run away
crying.
29. Act like your about to cry and ask people
"Have you seen my mommy?"
30. Stick your arm in your jacket and
suspiciously start to leave the store. Get really tense and start to lean
over as your walking through the doors As if your suspecting the alarms to go off. Then when it doesn't
go off, let out a big sigh. Then quickly look around you to see who's watching and run away as fast as
your can.
over as your walking through the doors As if your suspecting the alarms to go off. Then when it doesn't
go off, let out a big sigh. Then quickly look around you to see who's watching and run away as fast as
your can.
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